棉花云
她是俄某新闻社的驻京记者，由于前段时间的金融危机，公司裁得只剩下三人，而且每个人各管一头，谁也管不着谁，于是她可以不遵从一般公司那些僵死的规章制度，甚至不用去公司上班，逍遥自在得很。当然工作毕竟是工作，也会有忙地透不过气的时候，她经常去采访一些科技公司的老总，录音、拍照、写稿子。她对我说：以前都是我采访别人，这回也让别人来采访我。
2001年来到北京读书，学习外语，大三的时候认识了大自己几岁的男友。男友当时已经工作，感情一路平稳，待到她毕业找工作时，男友买下了一套经济适用房。一开始她找到家在大兴的外企，工作和待遇都很不错，但是男友嫌公司太远，就劝她放弃这个机会。
很快她又找到了第二份工作，是一家华侨开办的公司，规模不大，就在她进公司整一个月那天，她的上司辞职不干了，于是升职做了编辑。又做了一阵子后，总编也突然不干了，她又升成了总编。短短的时间内公司里除了老总就没人能管得了她，这种状况是她自己始料未及的，而且还暗自觉得神奇。工作了一年半后，没有了发展和激情，她感觉很累，于是给自己放了个大假，旋即又辞了职。
后来经朋友介绍，她去了家乡镇企业家的公司工作，可完全无法适应里面的人际关系，尔后又换了个工作，公司8点就得上班，结果一个月下来，减去因迟到扣掉的钱后工资所剩无几，她这才明白过来，自己已经习惯了自由的工作，很难再改变。
在另一边，房子已经有了，双方父母也都知道，这段感情已经发展到谈婚论嫁的地步，为了装修，她母亲还拿出七万的积蓄，她自己更是倾尽所有。工作的同时还花大量的精力去打点房子，男友是一个很注重细节的人，两人因为装修的事情开始不断的争吵，而且越吵越凶，她心里渐渐的不安起来，开始怀疑自己对他的感情。
回想自己的生活，每天忙完了工作，回家还得为他做饭，以前她有很多的爱好，唱歌、写作、画画等等，男友看到她做这些事情时却总是在一旁奚落，这些爱好也逐渐的丢了，她觉得自己不幸福，而自己的一生也将会如此。男友不断的要求结婚，她开始害怕起来，害怕婚后自己会更加不幸，尽可能的把结婚的事情拖下去。多次被拒绝后，男友背着她向所有的亲戚朋友宣布两人的婚事。起先她容忍了，但两人的关系仍在不断恶化，男友甚至还出手打人，她无法忍受这一切，在婚期的前一个礼拜，她告之对方不愿意结婚，大吵一架后她被赶出了家门，当时已快深夜身无分文，只有投靠自己的朋友，而她先前的一切都留在了那里。
她开始了新的生活，一个人住，有床不睡硬是喜欢睡地上，偶有朋友过来住上一阵，也算热闹。她还重新拾起了以前的爱好，买了个发烧级的音箱加麦克，有空了就自己录首歌，和网络上的朋友们分享切磋。特别喜欢收集玉，虽然是个花钱的爱好，但一见到好看的玉石、玉镯就不能自己，她还称自己稍微的信点佛，每年都要去庙里拜拜，还买了串佛珠，一边听着佛教音乐一边思考。
她打算下一步自己写点东西，满足一下自己的写作欲。她还喜欢玩消失，如果哪天突然找不到人了，不要着急，她正躲在家里安逸的宅着呢，千万不要去打扰她。
时间：2009年9月3号
地点：朝阳青年汇小区
文字：邓从
摄影：邓从
She is now working as a reporter in Beijing for a some news agency. as to the financial crisis happend earlier times ago,company has only 3 people now. all of them have their own responsibility. so she doesn’t have to follow regulations strictly. everyday she feels free enough and even doesn’t need to go to work. but sometimes she also need to interview manager of some technical companies. such businesses as taking pictures、recording、writing，always makes her exhaused. she wished some day someone would interview her instead.
In 2001, she came to Beijing for foreign language learning. when in 3 grade she met a boy who was several years older than her. they shared a steady and warm relationship. the boy bought a affording house when she graduated. at first she found herself a job located in Daxing, it was a foreign company with good salary. but her boyfriend thought it too far from his place, he insisted her drop it.
Very soon she found herself another job. it was a not fairly big company of an oversea chinese. her boss quitted after just one month she stepped in. as to this, she raised to be an edit. then after a while, the main edit also quitted. she was finally the main edit. in that company, no body but the president can rule her. this passionless life made she felt very tired. she gave herself a big vacation and then quitted as others did.
Later on, one of her relative introduced her to a company in town. but she couldn’t get on well with that complicated relationship between people. she changed job again. she had to go to work at 8, she got late very often. After the first month she got few money. suddenly she realized herself has been used to free job life, it was always hard to change.
In another way. her parents knew her boyfriend. they thought the relationship should end in a good way–marriage. they gave out 70 thousand for house decorating. she also gave out all her money. she spent lots of time in decorating after job. her boyfriend was a careful man who pays on attention in details very much. they quarrelled ofted for detailed things. she thought uncomfortable for this relationship. even douted her feeling for him.
She memorized her daily life. after job she cooked for him. she had many hobbies before,singing,writing,drawing and so on. her boy often blamed her when she was doing hobby things, later on she dropped them. she couldn’t feel happiness, imagined her life later wouldn’t be happy. she felt scared when her boy asked her to marriage. coz she was afraid to have a unhappy life forever. but the relationship became worse and worse. one day her boy even beat her for something. she couln’t handle all these things and run away in a week before marriage. she had no money and could only went into her friend. she left all her things in before place.
She begins a new life. lives alone and always like sleeping on the floor. some times her friend would come to see her. now she enjoyes her hobbies again, buys her a nice music box and micro. she records herself song when free. she also enjoys collecting pure stone. though it was a costy hobby, she just couldn’t help herself buying beautiful stones. she says herself as a buddahism. every year she goes to the temple and thinks over things by listening to the music.
She is planning to writing something for recording. she also play dispearing. if she diapears one day,don’t be worry, maybe she is at home sleeping and resting. just don’t go to her place or bother her.
Time: Sept.03, 2009
Location: chaoyang qingnianhui
Photography: Deng Cong
Text : Deng cong
Translator: Aimen
