面孔记录50-frankie（en）
2009年04月18日 @ 10:14:16 6 条评论 »
阿三的叙述。
她一下子把自己放到了北京之中。孤零零地。若干年之前，她还在武汉医院里做质量管理工作，不知道为何，忽然有强烈冲动想要离开这个地方，脱离某种圈子。一做决定，她就立即行动。幸好这个城市里还能找到一些朋友，否则太孤独。
一头扎进了城市中。她先去人大附近住下了。那里床位很多，人也很多。大家热热闹闹吃火锅、打牌，日子也就飞快地逝去。前年，找到了工作，搬了家，仍旧和一个室友同屋。以目前的状态，并不需要个人的空间。下班后在网上四处溜达，晚一点回家，吃着10元钱的盖浇饭，回屋睡觉。
更何况，把500元钱当作房租，这是不值得的事情。她宁愿把钱花在穿着打扮上。周六日去逛街，几百元的靴子买了，一千多元的夹克也买了，刷卡购物，工资还贷。她可不会委屈自己。
但是，这种生活并非是她想要的。当初离开武汉，就是害怕毫无生气地过着雷同的日子，工作普普通通，生活缺乏激情，过来过去就这些人，一切带着惯性进入可预料的方向。去北京，去北京。现在回想来京的日子，时光轻易流逝了，带走了新鲜刺激，她免不了又要重复当初的决定，是否有必要离开北京，去寻找另外一种的生活？
Frankie的自叙。
从武汉到北京，坐和谐号列车只需9个小时。对我而言，却是从躁动到平和的过程。
一年半前，突然决定辞去原本稳定安逸的工作，离开生长了20几年城市，独自来到这个天上会下沙子，没有一天不堵车的地方。
为什么要辞职？为什么要离开武汉？为什么要来北京？其实，没有那么多为什么。只是刚好想离开熟悉的环境了，想寻找新鲜感，想体验不同的生活方式了，就像想睡觉了，想吃饭了一样简单。
有人说我任性，有人说我有魄力。我也不知道怎么定义这个行为。我只是很忠于自己的想法，想到什么了就去做。
在北京生活快两年了，一直干着一份工作，换过一个住所，认识了一些人，一切还算稳定和顺利。在经历过一群人成天歌舞升平、打打闹闹的日子后，大家都回到各自的轨道上，朝着不同的方向散去。留在身边的，还是早年相识的好友。生活又归于平静。周一到周五朝九晚六，公司和家两点一线，周末和朋友吃饭逛街，或待在家中打扫看书，日子过得充实而从容。
闲时静下来思考。有时，会为自己的“北漂”生活没有想象中的那么艰辛和坎坷而感到庆幸。但有时，又会对这种平淡的生活感到失望。也许，生活本就该如此。无论在哪个城市，当最初的陌生和新鲜感褪去，人们再次适应了新的环境后，生活最终还是会将它平淡琐碎的本质赤裸裸的呈现出来。对于这个城市，始终没有培养起多么深厚的感情。现在我终于明白，再没有哪个城市，能像武汉那样让我永远牵挂。
对于将来，没有考虑太多，只是努力把工作做好，进一步提高自我，希望能有更大的发展。但我始终会忠于自己的想法。也许有一天，我会像当初突然的到来一样，再次突然地离开。
时间：2008年03月29日
地点：工人日报宿舍楼
摄影：阿三
文字：阿三
Face image 50-frankie
She deserted herself in Beijing, and now she is so alone. A few years ago, she was in a hospital of Wuhan and did job of quality control. Somehow she just wanted to leave that city, and get out of that life circle. Once she decided, she acted. Fortunately she has some friends in Beijing, otherwise she would be out of lonely. When she just jumped into this city, she found herself a dwelling place near People’s university. Beds are enough there, and so many people around. Everyone gathered, lively enjoy hot pot and joy of playing cards. Time flies just like that. The year before last, she found herself a job, and moved house but still shared a house with a roommate. She doesn’t need any privacy right now. After hours, she would poke around the internet and went home a little late. Eating 10 yuan fast food for supper, she went home and slept. This is all a day about.
Besides, who would spend 500 on rent? That is unworthy. She would rather spend on dressing up. In Saturday she usually goes shopping, uses several hundred for a lovely boot, or several thousand for a good jacket. She swings card when shopping and month salary is used for amortizing loans. In a way, she would never make herself wronged.
But this life would never be the one she wanted. When she was in Wuhan, life was made of mediocre job and repetitive days. No passion, familiar faces came and walked away. Everything entered into a predictable direction with inertia. All the day she thought about going to Beijing. Now when looks back, she realizes that time flies and it takes away all fresh and exciting things. She is considering leaving Beijing for another kind of life. Just like before.
Frankie –account of herself
It took only 9 hours by high speed train Wuhan to Beijing. But for me, it was like a journey of anxiety to peace.
Half a year ago, I quit my stable work and left the city lived for 20 years. I just made those decisions in a day. Then I came into this Beijing city, where sand might fall from the sky and traffic jam happened everyday.
Why quit? Why leaving? And why is Beijing I want go? Actually, there is no many whys. I just want leave that familiar place and search for something exciting. I just want start a different life. It was a quite logical thing for me, just like sleep and eat.
They say I’m caprice or forceful at deciding. I don’t know how to define my such action. Maybe I am just honest to myself, and doing what I really want to do.
It’s nearly 2 years since she moved to Beijing. She has only one job the whole time, but changes her dwelling place one time, meets many people and everything can be considered going well. People return to their own track after singing and dancing all day together. All settles down and life goes on as before. Nine to five—Monday to Friday, her life is “two point one line”—company to home. During weekend, she spends times with friends or stays at home cleaning and reading. Life is rich and easy.
She would think at leisure, sometime even feel relived for her life in Beijing. It seems not that so hard. But sometimes she would also be disappointed for this mild and boring life. Maybe it’s just what life mean, whichever city is she in. Once the fresh and unusual feeling is gone, life would present its normal nature, which is mild and boring. She has no strong feeling for Beijing. Finally she knows, Wuhan is what she cares about most. No other city compares.
She never thinks over the future very seriously. Now she just need to strive to her job and makes ego-enhancement. And hopes to get a greater development. May be one day she will leave suddenly, just like when she came.
Time: March 29th 2008
Location: apartment building of worker’s daily
Photographer: Aasan
Text : Aimen
