面孔摄影

她在打鼓:“咚、咚咚、咚”。她沉浸在这种氛围之中，伴随着音乐的节奏，双手交替拍击，摇头晃脑，面露微笑，自得其乐。

去年，她的状态不好，不愿意再次回忆。本来就是闲在家中，上班两周后又辞职，独自背包去云南。当看到当地居民怡然自得，晒太阳的情景，触动颇深。人生怎么都是一种选择。她又去四川。在途中的十字路口，碰到活佛。问如何选择？活佛指引她去寺庙，海拔4000米高佛学院。她又在那里呆了两周。

冲下山来给家里电话。下山一小时，上山一小时，由于处高原地带，她上气不接下气，气喘吁吁。听妈妈质问，又去哪里了，怎么还在折腾？这对她而言，不是折腾的过程，是寻找的过程。要找到自我。最终认为，一切皆由心生。

回来之后，她继续做媒体，采访时喜欢看对方的眼神，从中窥探出对方的心理状态。那些事业有成的中年人，总能让她学习到更多。

她去学鼓。认识了一帮搞摇滚的朋友。认为玩乐是能量的释放。相反，读书是收集能量的过程。

被朋友说小资。她认可这个词汇，但前提是，将这个词汇中不好的成分剔除掉，保留好的含义——对语言的理解不同，立场不同，怎么说都好。她常常说，都好，都好。写稿时，喜欢找一家环境不错的咖啡厅，那样，身心舒畅。

再过几十年，她想成为那种优雅的女人。这是需要用时间和智慧来成就的，是读很多书，见多识广才能从容不迫，游刃有余的形象。她知道自己在一个寻找的过程中，未来将会抵达目标。

时 间：2009年05月14日

地 点： 五道口

文 字： 阿三

摄 影： 阿三

She is beating the drum”rub-tat,rub-tat,rub-tat”.Immersed in the mood,she beats to the music with her hands alternately and rocks her head，smiling pleased.

Last year,she was off form.She is unwilling to remember that.First she stayed at home,then she resigned after working for two weeks and went backpacking in Yunnan.She was deeply touched when she saw the local residents basked in the sun peacefully.Life is a choice.She went to Sichuan.At a crossroads on the way,she met a living Buddha and asked him how to choose.The living Buddha guided her to the temple which was a Buddhist academy at an altitude of over 4,000 meters above the sea level.She lived there for another two weeks.

She went down the mountain in a haste and called home.It took one hour to climb upward the hill and another hour to come down.As it was the plateau,she gasped for breath.Her mum questioned where she had been and why she was still messing about .As for her,it was not messing about but a journey of discovery,to find her self. Eventually she concluded that mind was the source of everything.

When she returned,she continued in the media field.During interview,she likes to see into the interviewees’ eyes and read their mind.Those successful midlle-aged people always teach her a lot.

When she learned to play the drums,she got acquainted with some friends who were with the rock band.She thinks play is the release of energy.On the contrary.study is the absorption of energy.

Her friends call her petty bourgeois lady.She accepts the word on the pretext that its negative meaning is removed and the positive part is maintained.Since people have different understanding and position on the meaning of the word,it is acceptable to express opposite opinions.She often says that it is fine.When she writes,she is used to find a coffeehouse with a pleasant environment where she can relax herself.

She longs to become an elegant woman after scores of years.To be a lady like that needs time and wisdom.She has to read lots of books,become experienced and knowledgeable,and deal things calmly with great ease.

Time:May 14,2009

Location:Wudaokou

Text:A San

Photographer:A San

Translator: Carrie

文字随后上。

她在这里住了一年半，一直懒得搬家。以前同屋的女生是同事，辞职后已经搬走。她和对门的女生住同一间屋子。她是一张小床，对方是一张双人床。后来，对门搬进来一个男生，他的女朋友偶尔过来住。那一天，同屋的女生和男朋友回来很晚，男生在沙发上住了一宿。

客厅背光，大白天也必须开灯。房屋很旧，有老式的家具和冰箱。她坐在沙发中，看着喜欢的《喜羊羊和灰太狼》，时不时开怀大笑。身后卧室内，四个人继续沉睡。

这是她来到北京的第二年。刚毕业那会，父亲的朋友的儿子在北京开了公司，她直接来上班。本来学的是通信工程，老觉得自己的成绩很差。同宿舍内，只有她出来工作，其余人继续考研。

前几天，她计划回家。公司主要做咨询业务，效益不好，要放假一个月。她希望回湖北老家看看。但父亲不同意。当她知道母亲病了也不告诉她时，顿觉内疚。她多么渴望回家。去年奥运时期，公司也放假，她兴高采烈回家，边走边游玩，充满欢乐。而此次放假，她有更重要的事情做，搞好简历，认真找一份工作。也许，那样，就不用每天早晨6点起床，赶到丰台区科技园那么远的地方上班了。对于工作，总觉得没有进取心。

这个季节，她特别怀念武汉大学的樱花大道。她曾去过玉渊潭公园看樱花，很是失望。在那里，她度过了4年的本科生涯。

她心里一直藏着梦想，想要拥有自己的糕点房，看着亲手做出来的糕点，特有成就感。当年，她曾经跑到大学旁最大的蛋糕房，告诉老板说，打工3个月，什么都不要，唯一的要求是在临走时亲手烤一个蛋糕。老板乐不可支，痛快答应。果然，临走时，她自己动手，搅拌、和面、打胚、上色，送入烤箱。等一个巨大的蛋糕呈现在眼前时，她兴奋。这个并不完美的蛋糕她送给了喜欢的男生，那天他生日。他有喜欢的女生，他知道她。

毕业时，她也谈过一场恋爱。当时她在北京，突发奇想看看那个男生，周末时候立即回到武大，让朋友约他去KFC吃饭。当他坐定时，她忽然出现。他惊喜万分，她满脸堆笑。去年，还是分手了。

如今想想这些往事，觉得很傻，再也不会这么做了。觉得现在谈恋爱总是很奇怪，怎么见面第二天，男生就要去开房，这让她很想不通。她只要单纯的爱情。

时间：2009年4月19日
地点：积水潭
摄影：阿三
文字：阿三