面孔摄影

这两个月她瘦下去20斤，最近才慢慢恢复回来。同事问是不是生病了？她不以否认。其实，是一场恋爱失败，让她的生活发生了一些变化，让她重新审视。

这个事件，一下子把她拽回到没有谈恋爱的日子中，回到起点，才知道自己在逃避成长环境，试图换一个环境改变自我，结果没做好。她自嘲说有段时间像祥林嫂。她也明白，这不过是恢复期的症状，过几个月可能会好起来。她一再说，别看自己才20多岁，可心里已经很老了。

这种“老”也指她想过稳定的生活。现在这份工作是她第一份工作，每天和数据、表格打交道，也嫌枯燥。但她暂时还不想换工作。稳定、能学到东西，这是她的想法。她也想从事设计工作，和更多人打交道，但在没有把握之前，她不会变化。

她住在卢沟桥附近，上班在北三环。上班路途有1个半小时。她生长在北京，读书在北京，工作后仍旧在北京。她对外人不愿意多谈家庭，希望以后能教育好下一代。她更是认为是家庭的潜移默化，造成了她性格中保守、求稳的原因。她也知道这样不好，还计划买相机，多培养其余爱好，不能老闷在家里，需要扩大自己的视野。无聊时涂鸦画画，也博得赞赏，她也在想，是不是可以专业学习，去行动改变自己？

时间：2008年10月03日
地点： 晓月苑小区
摄影：阿三
文字：阿三

Face-75 xiaoxiong

During the past 2 months, she’s lost about 10 kilograms, and been lightly recovering since lately. She was asked if she was ill and she never really denied. Actually, it was a failed relationship that put her into changes and made her re-examine her life.

This failed relationship dragged her right back to the starting point, to the time in which she didn’t know what love is. She since realized that she’d been running away from the fact that she was just growing up. She tried to fit into a new environment to get a self-refresh, but nothing came out of it. Thus she says with a sense of irony that she is a real version of Sister Xianglin. It is also clear to her that it’s nothing but the symptoms of recovery, and it’ll eventually get better in a few months. She always says that she already feels old in her heart although physically she’s only about 20.

Her feeling old can also attribute to her wanting of a stable life. Still sticking to her first job now, dealing with data and forms everyday does bore her, but she’s not ready for another job yet because she wants to keep learning in a relatively stable environment at the present time. Taking designing for a job does also sound perfect to her, so that she could communicate with more people. But until she’s pretty sure about it, job hopping is not on the table.

She lives near the Lugou Bridge, works in the North Third Ring Road. The commute takes about one and a half hours everyday. Beijing is the place where she’s been raised, educated, and where she works now. She doesn’t want to talk too much about her family but she thinks that due to her family’s influence on her, she’s apt to be somewhat conservative、stable and worried about the education of her own future children. That’s not the kind of idea she wants to have so she plans on getting a camera, cultivating some hobbies and enlarging her view instead of keeping herself at home all day long. Leisure time dawdling sometimes wins her credits and plause, and this makes her think that maybe she should take some professional dig into drawing, maybe it’ll be a change of her life someday.

Time: October 3 , 2008

Location: Xiaoyueyuan community

Photographer: A San

Text: A san

Translator: Alyunfei

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